we're all "has beens" and "never weres"

"the only guy who ever gave me time was the one who only wanted 5 minutes of mine. knocking boots in the back, how degrading is that?...i decline." at a playground of emotion, the mood swings as not as fun and there is no jumping off midway. scraped knees are still the same for different reasons...childhood mocks adultery. my bank account is alot like my thoughts, almost all ran out. good times dont equal dollar signs, but im making a bad habit of swiping plastic to drive my boredom away. im useless when it comes to money, i hate it. the world revolves around it, makes me want to work counterclock wise. theres a hint for why i dont mind making $5.75, mo' money, mo' problems. too bad my hopes and dreams ring with a "ka-ching". life is stagnant, im stuck at a crossroads...ill never walk down the road that compromises everything i want in life. i cant make a u-turn and go back to who i was...but theres no road map to who i want to be. i've never grown up before, im still new at this. everyone else seems to know how to do it, did i miss that lesson in school? i know i was absent more than my mind, but regardless. vainity is everyone's favorite sin. would you sell happiness to be flawless? who says we cant have both? i miss two lips to call my own, but a heart is not required. relationships are not my suit these day...its casual friday always for me. exceptions would be made, but my head-in-the-clouds dreams of those to be freeze high with the winter nights...blame that on the "fame". chances are all i need, and maybe rohypnols. sometimes i wonder how many bodies would love to be against me if i was half the person i am. but would i be half the person i am? you're not having sex with my personality, personally, that might be just the problem...getting off is not just another way to say goodbyes. i'll trade hips for lips anyday.....they say you're only as good as the people you hang with...im fucking golden, dont you wish you shined like us? the greatest souls the galaxy has ever known reside in indiana, how lucky am i to have hit that lottery? they know who they are, the just dont know that the stars in my eyes are for them. these are what dreams are made of, i could sleep forever...