i crack concrete falling down for you

sometimes the only night "cap" i want, is in the barrel of a gun. i sleep with twisted thoughts and wake up with broken dreams...why is it so hard to break free from myself? i feeling like im screaming, constantly....but im on "mute". i feel like i went to sleep one night when i was 12....im not sure i ever woke up. im pretty sure none of this is real. my world is nothing but dreams and nightmares. sleeping beauty would have slept forever with no prince, no kiss. imagine that story this way: she sleeps forever, and never knows there wasnt a prince to save her. she never knows the good or the bad that becomes of the kingdom....there's no witch, no spell, no kiss, no dance....just dreams and nightmares. welcome to my world princess, i never got my kiss either. do we ever really get our happy endings? im under a spell...but if my world is set on fire, just let me sleep forever. i dont care how many thorns you cut and dragons you kill to get to me...if you dont save my entire world from burning apart, dont bother waking me. im better off with the dreams and nightmares, what isnt real wont hurt you, my prince...im pretty sure no one will get this entirely, its ok...it was for me.p.s. i miss feeling alright, depressed for no reasons kids...bi polar? that might explain the cold hands and feet (corny joke...thats so me)