the dream and the factory

"how's life?" its a dream, let me sleep on it. and i did. i woke up and have done nothing but spiral down in a world that feels no more awake than the next. that today which turned into tomorrow was purely oil and water. completely separate from each other, hince the disconnected and insoluble feeling i have. somehow its changed me, before everything would affect me, i was normal in a sense. but now i barely feel human. somehow ive perfected the art of rejuvination. i swallow venom and spit the antedote. i swim in lies but breathe the truth. i speak my secrets and save my worthless conversation. a bottle of "im sorry"s for the apologies i never have to make. what goes in rusted comes out gold. im inebriated with decadence, and i sweat out vivacity. everything conveyed its not what lies inside. the rott stays, the rust stays, the venom eats away at the lies and the worthless conversation is constantly speaking in tongues to the bottles spilled over with repent. a complete nightmare. a total opposite of what i want to be. as if i have no friends at all, even death wont return my calls...and all the failed attempts to "dial and get through" were proof. why cant i wake up from this? i have a nocturnal lifestyle, much like a vampire, but in no way am i hiding from the sun...just maybe wishful thinking that i can find my way back into my body so i can wake up where i left off.
none of this is real.....not even how i feel